My Obituary
This last weekend, I went to the funeral of the father of a friend of mine. It was a celebration of the life of a very good man. I was very impressed listening to the remembrances of his children and grandchildren. His two sons spoke of the memories that their father made with them. He was a man who made the effort to make the most of his life and be very involved with his children. He didn't let the world hold him back in his enjoyment of life. All in all, I enjoyed the funeral. I have been to many funerals, presided as bishop in several, and I can honestly say there have been few that impressed me as deeply as this one.
As I listened, I felt the whisperings of the spirit. I wondered what my obituary would say. I wondered what my children would tell the people that attended my funeral. I wondered what things I would be remembered for.
There is an episode of Frazier in which Frazier goes into the Emergency Room for some small thing, gets irritated and leaves. When his name is called, another man takes his place. This other man passes away, and the media gets the news of the passing of Frazier himself. Because of that, the paper publishes an obituary. Frazier is not happy of the things that are in his obituary, and writes his own. Then he wants to fulfill those things that he writes.
One of my favorite recent shows is The Bucket List. Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman do an incredible job together to represent two older men that are nearing death. Together they fill a list of items on their "Bucket List" or things that they want to do before they kick the bucket. It is delightful show with a great message.
Since the funeral the other day, I have been considering my own obituary and wondering what I would put on my bucket list. I wondered often what my spouse, friends and children would say at my funeral. Even more importantly, I would wonder what they would feel inside... the unspoken more than the spoken.
I am going to continue to ponder this, and perhaps create my own bucket list. Nothing outrageous, like in the movie, but what I want of my life. Not what I want to DO, but more what I want to BE.
And maybe, just maybe, write my own obituary.
Just ramblin'
David
As I listened, I felt the whisperings of the spirit. I wondered what my obituary would say. I wondered what my children would tell the people that attended my funeral. I wondered what things I would be remembered for.
There is an episode of Frazier in which Frazier goes into the Emergency Room for some small thing, gets irritated and leaves. When his name is called, another man takes his place. This other man passes away, and the media gets the news of the passing of Frazier himself. Because of that, the paper publishes an obituary. Frazier is not happy of the things that are in his obituary, and writes his own. Then he wants to fulfill those things that he writes.
One of my favorite recent shows is The Bucket List. Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman do an incredible job together to represent two older men that are nearing death. Together they fill a list of items on their "Bucket List" or things that they want to do before they kick the bucket. It is delightful show with a great message.
Since the funeral the other day, I have been considering my own obituary and wondering what I would put on my bucket list. I wondered often what my spouse, friends and children would say at my funeral. Even more importantly, I would wonder what they would feel inside... the unspoken more than the spoken.
I am going to continue to ponder this, and perhaps create my own bucket list. Nothing outrageous, like in the movie, but what I want of my life. Not what I want to DO, but more what I want to BE.
And maybe, just maybe, write my own obituary.
Just ramblin'
David
posted by UtahToad | 11:24 AM
2 Comments:
First, your post made me think of these words by Dallin H. Oaks:
"In contrast to the institutions of the world, which teach us to know something, the gospel of Jesus Christ challenges us to become something....The Final Judgment is not just an evaluation of a sum total of good and evil acts—what we have done. It is an acknowledgment of the final effect of our acts and thoughts—what we have become....We must not give up hope. We must not stop striving. We are children of God, and it is possible for us to become what our Heavenly Father would have us become."
Secondly, I was impressed. I was touched. The fact that you want to become better, that you are thinking about what others will think and feel about you, it touched me. This is not something new for you - you are always becoming better,and trying to become better but the expression of that thought or desire was important to me. Actually stating "I wondered often what my spouse, friends and children would say at my funeral. Even more importantly, I would wonder what they would feel inside... the unspoken more than the spoken." - the fact that you care about being a good person and wanting to be better and wanting to become more than you are for yourself and others - it....it's awesome. It makes me feel good. It makes me proud of you and love you. It makes me think "now there's an awesome guy." It's inspiring.
I too have thought about what people would say at my funeral. I have come to the conclusion that I might not like any of it. I think I would eliminate a funeral altogether, but having experienced multiple funerals of people - of various ages - who are close to me, I feel that funerals are an important part of the family's healing process. I know the strength that can be felt simply by seeing that people you care about, care about you by coming to support you just by showing up to a funeral to acknowledge the life of the person.
When attending funerals I am often reminded that our time left may not be as long as we think it is. I consider whether I am prepared. Have I made the necessary arrangements to make the process easier for my family who is left behind? Are things in order? Your comments posted here remind me of other things I need to keep in mind. Have I told people I love them? Have I made the most of the moments I spend with those I love? How can I have the least amount of regrets if someone I love dies soon? These are important things to me that sometimes are overlooked. And most importantly, your words have reminded me that I must not ignore the personal spiritual preparations, for they are the most important. What do I want to become as a result of this life? What will be said about me when I am gone? And when I am gone, will it have mattered that I ever lived? It causes one to ponder. As the song by Katherine Nelson says: "Will I want to be the person I've become,when all is said and done?"
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