My Obituary

This last weekend, I went to the funeral of the father of a friend of mine. It was a celebration of the life of a very good man. I was very impressed listening to the remembrances of his children and grandchildren. His two sons spoke of the memories that their father made with them. He was a man who made the effort to make the most of his life and be very involved with his children. He didn't let the world hold him back in his enjoyment of life. All in all, I enjoyed the funeral. I have been to many funerals, presided as bishop in several, and I can honestly say there have been few that impressed me as deeply as this one.

As I listened, I felt the whisperings of the spirit. I wondered what my obituary would say. I wondered what my children would tell the people that attended my funeral. I wondered what things I would be remembered for.

There is an episode of Frazier in which Frazier goes into the Emergency Room for some small thing, gets irritated and leaves. When his name is called, another man takes his place. This other man passes away, and the media gets the news of the passing of Frazier himself. Because of that, the paper publishes an obituary. Frazier is not happy of the things that are in his obituary, and writes his own. Then he wants to fulfill those things that he writes.

One of my favorite recent shows is The Bucket List. Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman do an incredible job together to represent two older men that are nearing death. Together they fill a list of items on their "Bucket List" or things that they want to do before they kick the bucket. It is delightful show with a great message.

Since the funeral the other day, I have been considering my own obituary and wondering what I would put on my bucket list. I wondered often what my spouse, friends and children would say at my funeral. Even more importantly, I would wonder what they would feel inside... the unspoken more than the spoken.

I am going to continue to ponder this, and perhaps create my own bucket list. Nothing outrageous, like in the movie, but what I want of my life. Not what I want to DO, but more what I want to BE.

And maybe, just maybe, write my own obituary.

Just ramblin'
David

Trials... Perspective....

I have been reading a book titled The History of the Donner Party by C.F. McGlashan (written 1879, thirty-three years after the tragedy). The Donner-Reed party has had a bad stigma because some of the stranded, starving members resorted to what many believe to be cannibalism. (Although it seems reprehensible, how would you or I deal with pending death and starvation? I'm not going to pass judgment! This is fodder for a later blog entry.) I also recently read an account of the Martin Handcart Company. My heart aches as I read of the struggles and trials that these people went through!

Last night, as I was taking out the garbage in my bare feet (this is August in Utah), I remembered a passage from the Donner book that referred to a man walking in the snow for several miles in his bare feet. I thought of the Martin Company and the many miles some of them literally crawled in freezing temperatures. Then it came to my mind of other times that I have gone outside in the winter for just a few moments and barely could tolerate the cold.

How did they do it? How did they find the strength to continue on? Particularly, how could the members of the Martin company forsake all that they had for a church, travel half-way around the world, suffer incredible cold, and stay so strong?

I have pondered the strength of body and character of the early pioneers of US history--Mormon and other--as they traveled in their quest for a different life. Then I consider the softness of our current lives. For some of us, the biggest trial we have in life is which sweater to wear with our khaki pants!

I don't want to diminish the struggles of people. Many are faced today with much more than I could deal with! But in the same vein, I feel that many are just giving in to the temptation of whining and grumbling.

Hey, life is hard!

I don't believe that God is up there tossing roadblocks in front of us, watching us struggle and fall. Pain, trials and struggles are part of life, and it is our responsibility to deal with them. Reaching up to God is part of dealing with them. As we hear in the vernacular, "Life Happens!"

Many years ago, my wife and I were facing some significant problems in our life. We had only been married a short time, and had had a child die, and his twin in intensive care. It was taking a significant toll on our lives, and our marriage was in peril. I counseled with my bishop, and he gave me some advice that has stayed with me. He said that how we deal with our trials when are in the middle of them isn't nearly as important as what we become when the trials are through. I have kept this in my mind throughout my life. I consider it some very valuable counsel.

I know many people that get all uptight and out of sorts when they are going through significant problems. I've watched people deny God and the Gospel because "surely if there was a God then he wouldn't let this happen to me!" It pains me to see people deny themselves some blessings by taking this attitude.

Are our trials real? Undoubtedly! But kind of small when compared to others (going back to my original thoughts...)! I wouldn't want to trade my pile of problems with anyone else, that's for sure! However, we need to keep things in perspective and react accordingly. We need to realize that this is just a short moment in the eternal spectrum of things. Like when you throw a pebble in the water, how does the water react, and how long does the water react? Little problems cause little waves, and bigger problems cause bigger waves.

But neither type of problems cause waves for a long time.

Perspective. Hmmm…

First Post to the Blog... whoa!

Yesterday, as I was riding home discussing life, and other propositions with my good friend Mindy, we got into a deep discussion about the Atonement, the Plan of Salvation, and the big question that she had is... How do we do it all? How do we get everything done that is expected of us?

We sat and discussed her concerns for a while, in fact, she was late for her appointment. After we got through, I realized that some serious things had been discussed, and I wanted to record them, for maybe posterity's sake, maybe a talk later on. I was thinking where the best place to record them would be, and decided that maybe I should start a blog. It seemed like the best way to keep a running record of my rambling ruminations. (I love alliterations!)

So here it is! This is the start of what should be a fun ride!

Thanks for your comments.